When I first found out I was pregnant, I ran to the library and took out a stack of books on pregnancy, labor, and delivery. I tore through all of them...and wanted to cry! What had I gotten myself into??? Everyone knows about stretchmarks, but how about these other weird pregnancy-related issues with unpronounceable names! I was a mess. I swore I'd never touch What to Expect When You're Expecting ever again!
So, the other day I was reading What to Expect the Toddler Years and came across the lovely tidbit that the reason my sweet 2 year old can say the alphabet and count to 20 is simply because he watches too much TV. Excuse me?!? Okay, like I don't feel bad enough about the days when I struggled with morning sickness and guiltily popped in a Baby Einstein video for my little guy to watch. I promise - I'm not THAT mom! And anyway, who can blame us every once and awhile?
Then I read a book about getting your newborn into a schedule so they'll eat and sleep well, and allow the rest of the family to do the same. It went on to outline, in great detail, every mistake I had made with my son and let me know, with no sympathy mind you, that I had basically ruined him for life. He won't make friends easily, he won't retain information, he'll struggle with eating disorders, and he'll probably want to sleep in my bed until he's a teenager. And that was best-case scenario.
Can I tell you something? I KNOW I've made mistakes. I know I could have done things better. I know that someday one of my kids will tell me I've ruined their life. But please - let them tell me. Because at least then I can reply: I only messed you up because I love you.
July 22, 2008
Who Writes this Stuff, Anyway?
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3 confessions & pardons:
Turn in the library card and give up! First rule I share with friends who are even thinking about getting pregnant is this: DON'T, I repeat, DON'T read the "What to expect" books! They are nothing short of horror. They are clinical and frightening with absolutely NO bed-side manner. Seriously, if you want to know the worst possible thing that the teeny little pain you're experiencing could be, go ahead and read them. But if you want someone to tell you "You're pregnant, it's gonna feel weird, but you'll be ok!" -- that is NOT the book to read!
Personally, I liked William Sear's book "Pregnancy" -- but I don't subscribe to his philosophies on attachment parenting. On the flip side, I don't recommend Ezzo's "Babywise" either. Check out the following website for why http://www.ezzo.info/Rein/prominent.htm
I agree with you, even if I'm messing up, I'm trying my best and hopefully in the end my kids will know I loved them and not blame me for everything wrong in their life. A girl can dream, right?
OK, your little guy definitely doesn't watch too much TV and the reason he can count and say the ABCs is cuz he's a genius. Well, maybe I'm prejudiced, but anyway, it's def NOT cuz of TV. and I highly doubt he'll want to sleep in your bed that long! Didn't you know that the "what to expect for toddlers" would be just as bad as the "expecting" one??!! Just cuz you warned me, I never opened that book! and any other book that talks about possible preg problems, I skip over those parts. Don't forget who you have helping you raise this child (and the one to come) He'll guide you through, He's done a pretty good job so far!
I have the what to expect books and find them helpful when i have a question. I don't read them until something goes wrong. :) Then I find out what to do, and I find it pretty helpful & straightforward.
In my second pregnancy, I don't think I read ANYTHING about being pregnant. The first experience was all I needed to get through it.
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