Dear Baby #2,
In the beginning, I was in total denial. "I've been pregnant before! I don't have any of the symptoms!" But then, "Oh no, I have all the symptoms!" Your poor Daddy learned about you in the car when I picked him up from work. But at least this time he didn't ask if we purchased a 'magic box' of pregnancy tests.
I desperately wanted you to be a boy. Two little brothers would be so cute! But when they did the ultrasound and couldn't figure things out for sure, I knew you were a girl (and that you'd be breech, and I'd have to have a c-section, and that you'd hate me when you turned 13...). I sobbed uncontrollably - but only because they couldn't tell me for sure, not because I knew you were a girl. I promise.
You're going to be here in just a few short weeks. You'll have hand-me-downs from your brother and have to sleep in his pack-and-play for awhile. Your baby book will probably never have the same amount of detail that his has. We'll hold you and cuddle you, but know enough to put you down when you sleep. Your every gurgle and coo will be precious, but probably often missed due to peanut butter and jelly sandwich-making. You'll most likely be covered in the kind of dust bunnies and fuzz that were banished from our house when your big brother was born. I can't even imagine what you'll find to put in your mouth. You may grow up wondering if we think you are as smart, funny, athletic, or cute as your big brother is. You'll ask where all the photos of you are. But honestly, I know we'll ask ourselves what we ever did before you came along.
You'll be Daddy's princess, but struggle with Mommy. I'll be the one you yell "no" at, and "you ruined my life!" to, before stomping away and slamming your bedroom door. You'll cringe when people say you look like me or talk like me, and you'll tell them they just haven't met your Dad yet.
But deep down, I'm hoping that you'll talk to me at other times too. When your best friend finds a new friend, or your boyfriend breaks your heart. When you think you're ready to wear a training bra or shave your legs. And then, years (and years!) down the road, when you have a daughter of your own, I hope I'll be the one you come to and say "Now I know why you wanted another boy."
August 4, 2008
To Baby #2: A Confession
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3 confessions & pardons:
This is so interesting to read, because I have always been nervous that I'll have a boy. Even though everyone says boys are easier, I'm nervous that I won't know how to raise a boy someday because I was raised with only girls in the family and Noa was the only boy in his family. I know you'll be a great mom to this little girl - even if you know the road along the way may be bumpy.
you just put my worries into words...you hit the nail on the head sis, it brought me to tears. My girl is going to be her daddy's princess too, and how do I not feel jealous?! weird huh? I think of all the horrible things I said to mom growing up...Can I trade for a boy??!!!
Julie - I should have known that a boy was coming my way when my first grade class was filled with them for the first time! I was being prepared! But having one? Let's just say it's amazing. There are times when I think I just have to suck it up and play in the dirt, and I'm sure there will be more of that to come. But I know God is going to prepare me for that time too.
Malina - I didn't mean to make you cry! Pregnancy is one of those crazy things.... I really am excited to be having a little girl. I think that there are going to be lots of interesting bumps along the way - but two little girl cousins growing up together is going to be amazing! We'll just cry to each other!
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