Back in the Land of the Living

It was like watching an oncoming freight train and knowing there was no escape....

Monkey-Man came down with it first. It was Monday and we were reading a book when he suddenly cried out for Daddy. Then the hand went to the mouth and I knew it was all over. I rushed him to the bathroom...just in time. At first I wondered if it was just an isolated incident. He perked right up when I popped him in the tub. But 15 minutes later, it was happening again. And again. And again. And again. I called Daddy to come home from work - I couldn't possibly balance sick toddler and hungry baby. And that was the beginning.

The vomiting continued for 24 hours. It was terrible. When he showed signs of dehydration, our pediatrician called in a prescription for some serious meds. Thankfully, that did the trick and he was able to start keeping some fluids down. By Tuesday night, I was beginning to think he was finally out of the woods.

Bright and early Wednesday morning, I awoke to the sound of Daddy in the bathroom. Oh no....it wasn't going to be just one of us. I knew it was going to hit all of us - and hard. Daddy spent most of the day on the bathroom floor, trying hard not to pass out - and probably wishing for a quick death. I knew I needed to call for backup.

I invited my mother-in-law to come and die with us. Inviting her to her doom was not pleasant, but I didn't know what else to do. If Daddy and I were both too sick to move, who would take care of the little ones? She graciously accepted the offer, figuring she wouldn't get sick and could take care of us all. Before she arrived, the Little Miss became victim #3. Dear God, no.....

I ran around all day making sure everyone was cared for, and trying to get ready for my own impending doom. Thankfully at least, the Little Man was beginning to feel like his own precocious self once again.

Thursday morning I awoke feeling lousy. This is it. Dear God, please, have mercy! All I could think about was getting dehydrated and not being able to feed my little one. What then? How could I monitor her for dehydration if I was posted in the bathroom? Somehow, the sickness seemed to have lost its intensity by the time it hit me. Something like the way a hurricane dies down with time, going over land. Thank you God! I felt lousy all day, but couldn't do much about it - two little ones wanted me at all times.

My mother-in-law was a trooper. She washed laundry and dishes. Entertained little ones. Made toast and rice and soup and jello. For the first time in...ever, really...I was glad she was sticking around. On Friday when Daddy had to go back to work, his mom wound up sick in the bathroom. She wanted to go back to her own house so she wouldn't reinfect anyone - but I went into panic-mode thinking about being home alone with my little ones! What if...what if...what if???? She stayed on for moral support.

One of the stories I read to my son during this time of illness came from his Beginner's Bible. It told of a man who had so much faith in Jesus' power, that he asked Jesus to simply say the word and the man's servant would be healed. Jesus was, after all, in charge of the illness and it must obey Him. It was a good reminder to me during these turbulent days. I prayed that Jesus would once again, simply say the word and heal us all. And after hearing so many others talk about their own horrible two-week long (or longer) experiences with the same thing, I feel blessed indeed.

Only one last thought to add: when my stomach was at its worst, I prayed
God, if this has to be the stomach bug or pregnancy, PLEASE let me get the bug!

Look What I Found!

Today I found Jesus. He was hiding in a box of diapers.

It certainly sounds like it should be a metaphor for some great truth learned. Instead, it's just one more peek into our crazy lives.

We'd just noticed he was missing. All the other nativity pieces were accounted for - but where was baby Jesus? Knowing he'd turn up eventually, I didn't even bother to look for him.

Last week I found Daddy's trimmer in the refrigerator. That's where we found the Little Miss Muffet's shoes as well. Countless small objects have been found inside socks, boots, and DVD cases.

This lovely game of hide-and-seek keeps life interesting. I'm just hoping that someday the other half of my brain will show up - maybe in another box of diapers.

God Moments

There have been several occasions that God has used my kids to teach me something. The other day, the lesson came from my own mouth.

I was sitting with our Little Man while he was eating lunch. "What are we doing next?" he asked.

"Don't worry about what's next. Let's just do this right now and we'll worry about what's next when you're done."

It was like an arrow shot down into my heart - that's what God wanted me to know as well. Enough worry about tomorrow. Focus on this right now. We'll worry about what's next when we're done.

What's That?

Imaginary conversation with Little Miss:

"Mommy, what's that blur?"

"Oh that? That's just your big brother."

Dream a Little Dream Sweetheart

Our little guy has been having nightmares with the newest batch of teeth coming in. I suppose it doesn't matter much. I'm up anyway with the Little Miss who's decided feeding every two hours in the night is a fine idea. But I've been having a few crazy dreams of my own.

On Christmas Eve, I dreamt I took a bite of bread, then realized it contained milk/soy. I was so upset with myself!

The other night I fell asleep watching "24." Besides dreaming about going into a witness protection program in Arizona, I also dreamt that I'd made a huge salad but put creamy dressing on it, instead of vinaigrette. I had to go back through the line (I was in a cafeteria of sorts) all over again, hoping all the while that I wouldn't miss my plane!

Hmm, I wonder what that could mean....

ABC's of Dairy-Free

Allowed: apricots, asparagus, artichokes, almond milk, avocado, apples

Beware: bologna, bread, butter, butyrate, butterscotch

Caution: cheese, curds, cream, chocolate, cheesecake, casein

Don'ts: doughnuts, deli meats

Enjoy: eggs, eggplant

Friends: fruit, Fig Newmans

Grab: gelatin, graham crackers, ginger snaps, gum, guacamole

Have: honey, hard candy, herbs, hummus

Include: Italian ice

Justified: juice, jams, jelly, Jell-O

Keep: ketchup, kiwi

Leave: lactose, Lactaid, lactulose, lactogobulin, lactalbumin

Must miss: milk, milkshakes, margarine, miso

No: nougat

Open: oranges, olive oil, oregano, or Oreos

Punishable: pizza, pitas, pudding

Quit: quiche

Relish: relish

So sorry: soy, sherbet, sour cream, shoyu sauce, soy sauce, soybeans

Tainted: tofu, TVP, tamari, Tofutti, toffee, tortillas, tempeh, taquitos; try tahini!

Ultimately,
Virtually vegan
Way
eXpectedly
Yields
Zoloft!

Just Give Me the Epidural! (vol. 2)

6. I want an epidural for our s-l-o-w computer...

7. And the updates for it that didn't work.

8. I want an epidural for the car we're using since our car still won't go in reverse. This one just got a hole somewhere in the muffler system, and only has one working windshield wiper.

9. I want an epidural for finding foods with no milk or soy.

10. I want an epidural for potty-training. Why do they hate having a poopy diaper changed, but refuse to use the potty when it's time to go?

In case you missed volume 1, check it out here.

Mommy's Law

If Murphy gets one, then I want one too.

Mommy's Law states: If one child is in need of a nap, the other child will undoubtedly decide he/she needs Mommy's attention - and all of it! - at that exact moment. This child will use force, projected voice, or whatever means necessary to procure such attention.

A variation continues: If one child is asleep and suddenly awakens, the other child will hurriedly thrust him/herself into Mommy's arms, wailing "Mommy hold you!" so the mother has difficulty reaching the now-screaming first child.

These are the laws by which I live my life.

Names I Call My Kids

Lovey

Sweetheart

Honey

Tiny Girl

Sweet Boy

Little Miss Muffet

Little Boy Blue

Munchkin

Monkey

Smart Boy

Munchkin Nut

Cuddle Bug

Goose Nut

Monkey Man

Peanut

Doodle-licious

Crazy Boy

Little Miss

Mister

Honey Love

Little Man

Crazy Goof

Goose Egg

Sweet-As-Pie

Goof

My Love

Sweetie

Magna Doodle

Crazy Nut

Goosey

Happy Boy

Sweet Girl

Goose Cake

Doodle Pro

Sweet Love

Mommy, I'm Hungry!

In my ever-continuing quest to find the best way to grocery shop with two little ones in tow, I set out yesterday for some post-holiday shopping. I've already tried baby-in-bucket-seat, toddler walking, and baby-in-bucket-seat, toddler riding. Neither one was a great choice. Yesterday was baby-in-baby-carrier, toddler riding.

All I can say is, I got everything on my list - except eggs. Somehow I missed the eggs. But there were no impulse buys, no stopping to check out something new. Just hurriedly checking labels for hidden milk ingredients and whizzing up and down the aisles. Saves money I guess.

One thing I did get a lot of, was comments on my kids. "Two little ones??? Wow - God bless you!", "Oh, you look like you've got your hands full!", and "I remember those days!" [note: this was said with much pity in her voice!] Made me wonder why people felt the need to comment. Lots of people have more than one little one at home....

And then it hit me. That's it. Lots of people have more than one little one at home! I seem to be one of the few that attempt something so futile! Someday I'll learn.

The baby-in-a-carrier, toddler riding seemed to work out fairly well. Until baby needed to sleep. Then she cried herself into a stupor and dozed off, leaving me to unload the grocery cart with sleeping baby perched on my chest. No easy feat. And of course, that was with toddler reaching out and grabbing candy by the handfuls and dropping it on the floor.

We made it out alive once again. Tune in next time for another adventure in "Shopping with Little Ones!"

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet

Eating her curds and whey...



The real Little Miss Muffet obviously didn't have a milk-protein allergy!