Two Truths and a Lie
1. As a child, I wanted to become a doctor.
2. As a teenager, I wanted to become a singer.
3. As an adult, I wanted to become a childbirth instructor.
Give it your best shot! Answer posted Monday!
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a journey through motherhood
Just Wondering
Daddy, when did God make you?
Sugar and Spice
Little Man: Daddy, what's this called?
Daddy: That's a spice called mustard seed. [sensing teachable moment] Hey Buddy, did you know that God says if we have faith that's just this big that we can do great things?
Little Man: Wow. Cool. [pause, holds up salt] Daddy, what does God say about this spice?
Daddy: That's a spice called mustard seed. [sensing teachable moment] Hey Buddy, did you know that God says if we have faith that's just this big that we can do great things?
Little Man: Wow. Cool. [pause, holds up salt] Daddy, what does God say about this spice?
Monkey See
Mommy: I don't want to see you doing that ever again!
Little Man: Okay, don't watch me!
Little Man: Okay, don't watch me!
2 am
"Daddy, can you get my Mommy?"
"Honey, it IS Mommy."
"Oh...Mommy, can you get my Daddy?"
"Honey, it IS Mommy."
"Oh...Mommy, can you get my Daddy?"
[Sigh]
Mommy, are you stressed?
How Do You Know That?
Mommy: Why are you taking so long computer??
Little Man: Mommy, it's loading!
Little Man: Mommy, it's loading!
90 Degrees
Noooo Mommy! I want whole pants!
Achoo!
"I God-blessesd on you!"
Cash or Charge?
"Mommy, what does credit mean?"
"Where did you hear that word, honey?"
"From my voice!"
"Where did you hear that word, honey?"
"From my voice!"
Silly Mommy
"Look sweetie! There's Grandma's street! Hi Grandma's street!"
"Mommy! Roads don't talk!"
"Mommy! Roads don't talk!"
Amen
"Mommy, where are my people toys?"
"I don't know sweetheart."
"Oh...I think they went to church."
"I don't know sweetheart."
"Oh...I think they went to church."
Happy Meal
After putting on a helmet:
"Look Mommy! I'm a cheeseburger!"
"Look Mommy! I'm a cheeseburger!"
What's that Noise?
Upon hearing the coffee percolating:
"Mommy! Baby sister is farting!"
"Mommy! Baby sister is farting!"
Messy, Messy
Little Man: I need the baby bag!
Mommy: And what do you want to do with the baby bag?
Little Man: Open it up and take everything out!
Mommy: And what do you want to do with the baby bag?
Little Man: Open it up and take everything out!
Too Smart
"Mommy has a CD player!"
"And what does Daddy have?"
[pause]
"A baseball player!"
"And what does Daddy have?"
[pause]
"A baseball player!"
Yummy!
"Are you biting Mommy?!?"
"No, I'm chewing Mommy!"
"No, I'm chewing Mommy!"
Too Funny!
After baby fell off couch:
"Honey! What did you hit??"
"The floor!"
[Trying not to laugh] "And what hurts?"
"The wood!"
"Honey! What did you hit??"
"The floor!"
[Trying not to laugh] "And what hurts?"
"The wood!"
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True Confessions of a Guilty Mom
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Peekaboo! I See You!
3 confessions & pardons:
As a child you wanted to become a Dr. true till you saw Alicia get her shot in the thigh!
As teenager you wanted to become an actress.
As an adult you want to become a Bradley Instructor....
As a child you wanted to be a teacher, which you became. Even if the shot ended a dream, it's nurses who administer shots, not doctors.
As a teenager you shone as a singer when you were selected to sing for Mohammed Ali.
I don't know why anyone would want to instruct children on how to give bir... Oh, I get it.
I always thought you wanted to be the president as a child? Until mom told you you couldn't because only men are presidents...but maybe you did want to be a doctor also, hmmm.
I'm going to go with 1 & 2 are true and 3 is the lie
If you wanted to become a childbirth instructor then I really missed that truth about you...
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