To B. and A.

I've been thinking a lot about our conversation on Wednesday night. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't misrepresenting the joys of motherhood! Having kids is fantastic. They light up your world like no one else can. You can get very angry at your spouse, but with your kids, there's something about putting them to bed at the end of the day - it's like it doesn't matter what they did that day to annoy you, you love them with an all-encompassing kind of love.

But you do make sacrifices. I would love to sleep in on a Saturday. To snuggle up with my husband on a rainy afternoon and just talk (without little ones climbing into our laps!). I wish we could go to a restaurant and not have to rush through our food. Or go to a movie! [Our son] was born 4 years into our marriage and the timing was great for us. We waited long enough to be established in who we were, but not so long that it was too difficult to adjust to having kids around.

Kids totally change everything. Some days you love that, and some days it's really hard. [Hubby] will say to me sometimes, "only 17 more years...."

I guess I just wanted to write and say all the stuff you've heard a million times over - just to make sure I said it. I love my kids. There is no comparison to teaching or baby-sitting or nannying. They cry for you and it's fantastic - but sometimes they cry for you and you just want to cry too!

So, my advice is like anyone else's - take your time. Enjoy being a married couple first. Get to know your husband in a myriad of ways. Do all those crazy things with him - like watch football or whatever it is he's into. Get to know yourself as a wife. Enjoy that role for all it's worth. Remember that your best friend decided to put up with all your crap and loves you in spite of it all. He's looking for your admiration and pride. He wants to be your knight-in-shining armor. Enjoy being his queen - a little princess may come along someday and you will love watching how he treats her. But enjoy him all to yourself for awhile! It's so important to cultivate your own marriage first. You hear so many terrible stories of couples married 20, 25, 30 years and wind up divorcing once the house is empty. They don't know each other any more. This relationship needs more love and nurturing than your kids ever will. Oh hey, and I bet you still remember things. That goes away when you get pregnant, and you never get it back! I used to be smart once....

Anyway - soapbox away. Sorry to sound preachy or whatever. I guess I just wanted to say - yeah, wait. And know that when kids come it WILL be awesome - and it WILL be tiring. It's the hardest job you'll ever love.