There's No Place Like Home...?

The day we returned home from the hospital after having our son, there was a message on our answering machine. Our landlord was selling the house. Eight days postpartum, we had strangers trampling through our apartment, past our sleeping infant. It was awful.

We searched high and low for another apartment. We literally looked at a dozen apartments or more, but nothing fit. Rent was too high, there was lead paint in the walls, cats were not allowed...there was always a reason why it didn't work out.

Only one door remained open. My mother-in-law continued to ask us to move into the house she rented - and we continued to say no. I told numerous people that I would rather live in my car than move into that home. It wasn't the house itself. I had never even seen it! It was just that I couldn't imagine paying rent to my M-I-L and, let's be honest, live so close to her!

Three years later, I can tell you that it's not gotten much easier. We moved into this house when our Little Man was just 4 months old. I knew it was the right decision, even though I had only seen photos of the place I would call home. I figured God must have big plans in store - but clearly this could only be a stepping stone to something - anything! - else, right?

When I got pregnant again, I told my husband we were "not supposed to have a baby here!" How could it be possible we've now been here for over 3 years? Guess it was a bigger stepping stone than I once thought.

I hate having people over the house. In fact, if you've been in my house, you're one of only a handful. I've put so little of myself into my home. Since the beginning, it's never felt like "mine." It doesn't belong to me, I can't do what I want with it (no matter what hubby says!). It can be stifling at times.

We've begun looking at houses for sale. It's an exciting, although definitely scary, prospect. For the first time, we'd be able to make all the decisions. If we wanted a brick red room with peach polka dots, we could do it! I mean, we never would, but we could! I get almost dizzy with excitement just thinking about it.

My living room doesn't even have curtains! What would we do with a place that was really ours?
Curtains are just a beginning. Ultimately, my dream is to have a place that I feel comfortable in - a place I feel comfortable inviting others into, because it's an expression of who I am, and who our family is. Someday, I hope to feel free enough to say - drop by anytime! - and really, truly mean it. I want a place we can all call "home."

Don't forget to check out Dawn's blog -

another one crazy enough to attempt 30 posts in 30 days!